Friday, 12 August 2011

Fear

At what point do we become people of fear? When do our shrieks of adventure turn to trepidatious caution? I've been mulling this over in my mind since our recent trip to Garmisch, Germany where we spent 3 nights camping with friends. When did I become so fearful? When does fear spill over into control and control over to discontent?

Just as a disclaimer, I'm not speaking of "throwing caution to the wind" or not considering consequences of our choices. It's just that I look at my kids. I try to see things through their newer eyes; eyes that don't see through hurts, life scrapes and trials, only through what they know to be true. What is it that they know to be true that I tend to forget?

I watch a girl run around in the dark woods with friends. No flashlight in hand, just a smile on her face and a giggle in her deep brown eyes. All I can think is, "Someone is going to get hurt, someone is going to trip over themselves and get REALLY hurt." No one does, well...not really.

This same not-so little girl asks to walk with friends to the bathrooms. She doesn't want to use the "disgusting" port-a-potty. I don't blame her. "Yes," I choke out but think "what if someone tries to hurt or take you my sweet daughter?" Then there she is again, head swayed back, smile wide only a little while later.

Boys climbing on rocks, big rocks and even bigger rocks. Boys making bows and arrows out of sticks. Boys running around with out shoes on. Boys being boys. Mom is thinking, "what if...."

I see a little boy, an ornery little boy running, panting down a mountain. This isn't even those Colorado Rocky Mountains. This is an Alp. "Hold my hand....my hand...hold my hand now!" I holler loud. What if he just runs over that side of the mountain to never be seen again?

Fear. Worry. Lack of control. Discontent. These words resonate deep with in me.  Yet, even in scary situations I do not see this in my kids most of the time. What is it I'm forgetting? The answer comes soft.

"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control." 2 Tim. 1:7


and again...

"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful." John 14:27

We are always with our children to love, help and protect them. How much more is my heavenly Father doing the same for me? Our 4 know this to be true. It isn't something they question or second guess.  The reason this is SO convicting is because of how imperfect we are, how untrustworthy and unreliable we are. The One who is deserving of that trust, whom has proven himself in every instance even unto death does not receive the same response I do from my children.

Change my heart O' God, make it ever new. Thank you for the lessons of humility taught through the eyes of my children. Thank you that I need not fear all of the "what ifs" because you are the Perfect One, embodied in love, casting out all fear.
























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