Wednesday, 3 June 2015

The Mother's Day Post that's closer to Father's Day

Dearest Mothers of all stripes.

Yes, you. All of you. The ones who have it all together. And those of you that think you don't. You, who long to be the best but fall short so many times. The ones who think that well, "if I was just more organized..." And the ones that already are. You, who look at your kid(s) and wonder if ever they'll get it "right" and do I have to explain that to you again for 1.1 millionth time? The one with little(s). To the one with big(s). And you, who might just have both and everything in between. You who struggle. You who pray. You who want the very best for those big brown eyes looking, staring right into the heart of you. Mom! That's you. That is me.




Mom, you, my dear are amazing. Yes, I know that kid threw a big ol' Texas size fit at church and people were giving you that look while you tried and fought and gave him "the look." But you didn't give in. You stayed your ground. You gave firm grace.  And the other one who wants to control every single aspect of his life and everyone elses life and seems bent on being unhappy unless he is getting your way. (Maybe you have a few of those.) The girl who gets in trouble to get attention. Will that ever end? Seriously. Seriously? Seriously!!

You, mom are fearfully and wonderfully made for this task. This wonderfully, awfully-hard, most joyous job. I see you. I see that really the only other people that really get it are those of us walking through it and frankly many times we are just so bent on "fixing" each other (or each other's kids) and judging each other so much that we miss out on extending a hand. Because, really we are all just doing our best aren't we? Aren't we just doing what we think is best for those kids...that kid...that we have borrowed for such a time as this? Even that mom in the grocery store with the 8 kids running amuck. She's doing her best. I mean, she didn't wake up this morning and say, "Hey, I think for today, I'm just really going to stink at this mothering thing."


You (and she) need grace, tired Momma. And it starts at the cross. You know that don't you? You know that those kids...that kid...he didn't have to learn to lie or cheat or disobey or for heaven' sake say "no" first did he? That sweet baby girl, she's just 2 weeks away going on a year and she's already throwing her head back screaming like her hair's on fire and flailing around on the floor when she doesn't get her way.

So mom, these kids they don't need to feel better about themselves (though I know that would be the popular argument). No, these kids need you to show them to Jesus. They need the cross, mom. They need to know that when they fail...and fail they will...a lot, that the answer is not to look to themselves (or to you really) but to look to the One who bled and died for those lies, cheats, times of disobedience and all those "nos" that he gave you first.

Because here's the thing mom that I am so over: Pretending to be something that I am not. I don't have to be a super organized, Pintrest perfect kind of mom. I just have to be me. God does not want you and me to be a "successful" parent. Yes, go you read that right. He wants our SOULS...our very hearts. I don't have to look around all the time and compare. You and I don't have to have it all together. We don't have to read every article...every book...every blog post about "how to be a good and faithful parent" we need just what our kids need. Yup, you and me? We need Jesus too! We need that cross...that risen Savior!


And mom, please hear me mom...if we miss this, if we miss Jesus in our kid's lives...if our homes are organized and they take every art class and succeed in sports and have 1,000 Facebook friends and graduate with straight As and go on to college at Harvard or Stanford (or Texas Tech for that matter) and we miss Jesus then the rest is not going to matter much really. Oh, it will on this side of heaven, but it won't for eternity.

You, sweet momma, can no more save your children than I can make you believe in Him. We are NOT responsible for their salvation. Never! That is not our job...it was finished on the cross. Oh, but my heart aches at how distracted I can be by everything else and how wrapped up I can be in the "outside of my cup" and forget about what really matters...about WHO really matters.

Mom, you live with little lives in process...at least 18 years process (and honestly, some are going to require more than that...a lot more). Your house will be messy (especially if they are in it with you.) They are going to mess things up. You will never be organized enough. You cannot possibly meet every single need. You can not make every thing fair. That project you wanted to do will not get done. For several years, maybe. That book will go unread. You will invest in leather couches not antiques.  You will try to teach them to be responsible by helping to clean and wonder why you do this because, for the time being, it kind of creates more of a mess. You will want to give up and just give them everything and give into everything. You will struggle with what hill you are willing to "die" on (and with some of them..that is every. single. hill.) It's exhausting. It's exhilarating. It's the only job I have ever really wanted to do. And the hardest.

Don't miss it.

Don't miss it, Momma.

 The mess can wait, but their little hearts can't. 
Win their hearts with grace and point them to the One who matters most.
 Point them to Jesus.

in HIM,

kari jo