Less than 4 weeks. 28 days. 4 more Sundays. The countdown has begun to another goodbye. That's nothing in the grand scheme of this wispy life we live. It's heartbreaking. I want to dig my heals into the rough dirt in front of the first home that we've ever owned and say, "No thanks. It's just too hard."
I had a dear friend many years ago tell me that she wished she could scoop all those she has held dear over the years, take them to an island (preferably without bugs) and live together. I love that. She knows all too well the toll goodbyes take on our very human hearts and has had to say it more times that even we have.
I wish I could say that moving often helps me treasure each moment, but just like you I get caught up in the todays and forget. 3 years always seems like a long time. Always. So when I pick up a Chatbook thrown askew across the room, I stopped just a moment to take a look. Tears fell. Look at that boy who was just a silly 3 year old and now, how in the world can he be almost 8? Life moves hastily along and it often leaves me feeling like I'm trying to hold onto sand poured into my hands. I just can't hold onto it fast enough. Squeeze and squeeze as I may and still it falls fast.
I know all the right and good answers:
This heartbreak points me to my need for Christ--He is my hope, my treasure, my all in all
Heaven is my true home--for those in Him we will be together forever
I can't imagine not knowing all these beautiful people from all these different places. Not a single one.
God is near.
He is good. Always.
He loves me.
He will never leave me.
He understands.
He knows loss in a way that I never can. Truly he is like us. And He is not like us.
Loving well always means great loss, if even it is at goodbye.
These truths give me peace and comfort because I cling them but sometimes our feelings take longer to catch up. Right now friends, it just feels overwhelmingly sad. And that is ok. It should feel sad. I used to try to shove the grief and loss aside turning it into doing. Or just concentrating on the next exciting place leaving no room for true sadness. This would leave me broken and in pain for weeks after a move. There is always a lot of doing and excitement during moving time around here so that is an easy way to channel sadness. And though, I don't want it to overcome me, I do want to allow time for the Lord to work it out in me. There is something about being truly thankful, knowing I don't deserve all the blessings and all the friends---their love, help, sharing of lives-- and somehow He always meets me with more than I could ever ask, hope or imagine for in each place that makes for a double edge sword of pain and wonderment and worship.
I had a dear friend many years ago tell me that she wished she could scoop all those she has held dear over the years, take them to an island (preferably without bugs) and live together. I love that. She knows all too well the toll goodbyes take on our very human hearts and has had to say it more times that even we have.
I wish I could say that moving often helps me treasure each moment, but just like you I get caught up in the todays and forget. 3 years always seems like a long time. Always. So when I pick up a Chatbook thrown askew across the room, I stopped just a moment to take a look. Tears fell. Look at that boy who was just a silly 3 year old and now, how in the world can he be almost 8? Life moves hastily along and it often leaves me feeling like I'm trying to hold onto sand poured into my hands. I just can't hold onto it fast enough. Squeeze and squeeze as I may and still it falls fast.
I know all the right and good answers:
This heartbreak points me to my need for Christ--He is my hope, my treasure, my all in all
Heaven is my true home--for those in Him we will be together forever
I can't imagine not knowing all these beautiful people from all these different places. Not a single one.
God is near.
He is good. Always.
He loves me.
He will never leave me.
He understands.
He knows loss in a way that I never can. Truly he is like us. And He is not like us.
Loving well always means great loss, if even it is at goodbye.
These truths give me peace and comfort because I cling them but sometimes our feelings take longer to catch up. Right now friends, it just feels overwhelmingly sad. And that is ok. It should feel sad. I used to try to shove the grief and loss aside turning it into doing. Or just concentrating on the next exciting place leaving no room for true sadness. This would leave me broken and in pain for weeks after a move. There is always a lot of doing and excitement during moving time around here so that is an easy way to channel sadness. And though, I don't want it to overcome me, I do want to allow time for the Lord to work it out in me. There is something about being truly thankful, knowing I don't deserve all the blessings and all the friends---their love, help, sharing of lives-- and somehow He always meets me with more than I could ever ask, hope or imagine for in each place that makes for a double edge sword of pain and wonderment and worship.
You are my joy, You are my song
You are the well, the One I'm drawing from
You are my refuge, my whole life long
Where else would I go?
Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
Day after day, night after night
I will remember, You're with me in this fight
Although the battle, it rages on
The war already won
I know the war is already won
Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
We sing Hallelujah
You're my portion
My salvation
Hallelujah
Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
Surely my God is the strength of my soul
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
And when I feel like I'm all alone
Your love defends me, Your love defends me
written by Matt Maher and Hannah Kerr
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