Monday, 6 May 2013

Motherhood and Slippery Fish

Describing motherhood is a bit like catching a slippery fish don't you think? I mean it's hard to get a hold of and certainly hard to describe in words that are adequate. It is a job that I always thought that I was fit for...that is until #1 made her grand entrance and well then it was soon after I realised that changing diapers and holding crying babies at my mom's daycare all those years didn't add up to wisdom. Preparation? Yes. Wisdom? Nope.

And so as we celebrated our fourth turning three at the circus and all that entails, I realise that it is in the letting go of expectations (you know those silly ones we keep hidden in our hearts) that has helped this unprepared girl along the way. Babies cry. They don't sleep. Toddlers whine because they don't get the $15 light up toy. Big ones moan because they have to wait and well, "we NEVER get cotton candy!!"

 And there was a day when I couldn't really enjoy being with them because they were not meeting my expectations of perfection in my head...and maybe my heart a little. Ok, a lot. Yes, those. The ones where we expect babies not the melt down. And to sleep. And not to whine about not getting the outrageous toy that will break in 1.0 sec. flat. Oh, and those biggs....they SHOULD KNOW not to whine too. Yes, those.

Oh, and those expectations? They really are more about me aren't they? When the baby whines and the mother's stare, I think I feel the judgement (or a least that is how it feels doesn't it?)  And no, I'm not saying not to teach, or admonish, or discipline...please hear me because those are most important. Most important! Yes, they are. I am not saying that to enjoy your kids you just need to endure whining and tolerate disobedience. What I am saying is that all too often, I make motherhood about me...instead about Christ. Because truly to enjoy my kids I have to say to myself at least 20 migillion, gazillion (yes, it's a number...Koen says so) times that "but for the Lord, Kari Jo...but for the Lord there go I whining about that new skirt that I want but can't buy right now....etc."

So as this fourth grows up into our mighty warrior, this Momma is too...albeit slower than even he...fighting her way through this battle of faith, clinging to the One who fills her up with his Spirit to walk this wondering, wispy life with these 4 and enjoy it all along the way....

859. this gift: our Mighty Warrior
860. 3 years with him
861. waiting for spring. still.
862. 60 degree weather and sunshine. no snow!
863. the peace the passes all understanding. knowing this is just what God has for us now.
864. windy days at the park
865. grace, upon grace, upon grace, upon grace...friends of mine...

And as the weeks have come in gone since the move, as some other changes in our home too, I regretfully confess to you that I am wwwaaayyy behind in our fighter verses, but am committed to picking it up again this week. It is necessary....not just a have to, but necessary. Will you join me this week? Find the verse here, friends and have a lovely week!

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