I'm sitting here at my desk facing yet another New Year, thinking what in the world happened to the last one. And honestly, I'm staring at the screen like I have nothing to say except all of what I want to say is complicated and would take up the hundred or so pages of a book that I don't have time to write.
It's been a long while since writing last, I know but I just keep thinking, it can't possibly be that this wispy life has wisped past me once more. It can't be possible that in the middle of all of the chaos that is my life, somehow, another year blew by me. Another year. Made up by small moments. Some beautiful, others heartbreaking and still some very much both. It has been a year full of pain, hurt, fear, wonder, excitement, and celebration. Like yours, very probably, this 2017 has been a mixed bag.
A New Year is like a clean slate, freshly fallen snow, a cleaned out closet. It's exciting. Kind of like the beginnings of a new relationship. We feel invincible. We can! We will (we convince ourselves most emphatically): eat clean, loose the 15 that's hanging around, laugh more, see the beauty in the mess of children around us, walk slower, write more, maybe start a podcast with a dear friend, enjoy more, do less. We are hopeful. We are resolute. We are also looking back at all of things we do not want to repeat from the year before essentially marking out failure in our lives with a bright red pen.
But you know what? We probably will. Fail, I mean. A lot. We will struggle. We will repeat what we don't want to. A lot. It's what we do as forgetters but doesn't have to define us.
Nope it doesn't have to.
It's our Plan B that is most important...that counts the most.
Here's what I mean: doughnuts are a necessary part of life but not very "clean" (and if they are considered such you should back away slowly), that 15 lbs. might just turn into 20 or maybe you might hack away 7 or 10 or a mere 2 of them, those "laugh lines" might be more frustration lines than anything else and when you walk into your house, you probably will see a mess, not beauty. At least I'm speaking for myself here. Sounds encouraging right?! It really should be. Stay with me, pretty please.
Things don't just magically come together because it's a "New year, New You!" and you feel more resolute. They don't come together because you have a solid, no-fail plan A. Because you know what? All plans fail in some way. Life, at least mine, doesn't happen the way I think that it should so much of the time.
Am I alone in this?
So I propose this question to you, dear reader: Do you have a Plan B?
You really, really should. I have a suggestion friend: this New Year, cut yourself some slack. We are a people who forget aren't we? I think maybe, partly that is why God gives us His Word. In it he daily reminds us that perfection isn't the point, at least in the worldly since that things have to look a certain way for my life to really be stellar. It never has been. What we put into our bodies is important, but not so important you can't ever have a doughnut...or two. Buy a new pair of pants (that fit) and believe the mirror that is telling you that you look the best b/c you know what, sister, you and I need to hear this:
You are beautiful. Let it go.
Not in the Frozen sort of way. But in a way that gives you the grace to know that the woman you are becoming isn't the woman that you once were and you know what?! This is good. No, not just good. It's amazing! That wearing away of the "old man" that makes you feel like the woman you glimpse at in the mirror is just plain old, is really the marks of wisdom and beauty that comes with the work of the Spirit in our lives. It's the eroding away of that old man. Wisdom comes with stretch marks, cellulite and a grey hair. Some of us can outrun those dreaded things longer than others, but most of us will get them earlier than we ever wanted.
Even more importantly than all of that is to have a Plan B for when you New Year plans fail b/c maybe, like me, you can't get your act together and they already have because you didn't write them down and now you can't even remember what they were. But for sure I have something. Yup, a Plan B.
Wanna know mine? My Plan B, I mean.
Kari's Plan B: 1) If it is sin confess, and run to Jesus begging for forgiveness from the Father. Also, confess it aloud to someone else that will hold me accountable. This includes, when appropriate, my children. 2) If it is not sin (like eating too much sugar in a day). Be kind to myself. Resolve to do better next time by praying about it. A lot.
I want to live this life of humble repentance. I don't want to live this life full of fear that I have a disappointed Father in heaven because I'm getting upset at myself about things that (which might be important on some level) they aren't the most important things.
A new dad, and friend from long ago, recently wrote on Instagram that his new baby girl would learn to love the Lord by his and his wife's godly example. And that is partly true. God certainly will use godly examples, especially those of parents, in the lives of our children. However, success isn't the only thing he wants or can choose to use. He wants to use it all. He can and will also use our failures in the lives of our children because when we fail we are in great need. That need is an opportunity to show our dependence on Christ alone...a chance to show them what it means to lean hard into the Savior of the world.
I had another friend, who's children are grown and have children of their own, tell me recently that on separate occasions his children contacted him and told him that the thing that impacted them the greatest in their lives was when he would openly confess to them his shortcomings, and sin (especially when directed their way) and ask for forgiveness in front of them or from them. I was surprised. And I wasn't at the very same time.
Even on our very best days we are needy.
At least I am.
Your kids need to know that.
Mine do too.
This song has been stuck in my head for days. It's mulling around in there and comforting me especially on days where things just plain stink and I've come up so short. God's amazing love isn't impressed with you on your best days and certainly isn't disappointed with you on your crummy ones. His love is constant and unchanging. It endures forever. It pierces our hearts through the Word so we desire to live a holy life. It is the most magnificent love one can ever, ever know.
Listen and read along, friends with the lyrics and let the truth wash over you.
It's been a long while since writing last, I know but I just keep thinking, it can't possibly be that this wispy life has wisped past me once more. It can't be possible that in the middle of all of the chaos that is my life, somehow, another year blew by me. Another year. Made up by small moments. Some beautiful, others heartbreaking and still some very much both. It has been a year full of pain, hurt, fear, wonder, excitement, and celebration. Like yours, very probably, this 2017 has been a mixed bag.
A New Year is like a clean slate, freshly fallen snow, a cleaned out closet. It's exciting. Kind of like the beginnings of a new relationship. We feel invincible. We can! We will (we convince ourselves most emphatically): eat clean, loose the 15 that's hanging around, laugh more, see the beauty in the mess of children around us, walk slower, write more, maybe start a podcast with a dear friend, enjoy more, do less. We are hopeful. We are resolute. We are also looking back at all of things we do not want to repeat from the year before essentially marking out failure in our lives with a bright red pen.
But you know what? We probably will. Fail, I mean. A lot. We will struggle. We will repeat what we don't want to. A lot. It's what we do as forgetters but doesn't have to define us.
Nope it doesn't have to.
It's our Plan B that is most important...that counts the most.
Here's what I mean: doughnuts are a necessary part of life but not very "clean" (and if they are considered such you should back away slowly), that 15 lbs. might just turn into 20 or maybe you might hack away 7 or 10 or a mere 2 of them, those "laugh lines" might be more frustration lines than anything else and when you walk into your house, you probably will see a mess, not beauty. At least I'm speaking for myself here. Sounds encouraging right?! It really should be. Stay with me, pretty please.
Things don't just magically come together because it's a "New year, New You!" and you feel more resolute. They don't come together because you have a solid, no-fail plan A. Because you know what? All plans fail in some way. Life, at least mine, doesn't happen the way I think that it should so much of the time.
Am I alone in this?
So I propose this question to you, dear reader: Do you have a Plan B?
You really, really should. I have a suggestion friend: this New Year, cut yourself some slack. We are a people who forget aren't we? I think maybe, partly that is why God gives us His Word. In it he daily reminds us that perfection isn't the point, at least in the worldly since that things have to look a certain way for my life to really be stellar. It never has been. What we put into our bodies is important, but not so important you can't ever have a doughnut...or two. Buy a new pair of pants (that fit) and believe the mirror that is telling you that you look the best b/c you know what, sister, you and I need to hear this:
You are beautiful. Let it go.
Not in the Frozen sort of way. But in a way that gives you the grace to know that the woman you are becoming isn't the woman that you once were and you know what?! This is good. No, not just good. It's amazing! That wearing away of the "old man" that makes you feel like the woman you glimpse at in the mirror is just plain old, is really the marks of wisdom and beauty that comes with the work of the Spirit in our lives. It's the eroding away of that old man. Wisdom comes with stretch marks, cellulite and a grey hair. Some of us can outrun those dreaded things longer than others, but most of us will get them earlier than we ever wanted.
Even more importantly than all of that is to have a Plan B for when you New Year plans fail b/c maybe, like me, you can't get your act together and they already have because you didn't write them down and now you can't even remember what they were. But for sure I have something. Yup, a Plan B.
Wanna know mine? My Plan B, I mean.
Kari's Plan B: 1) If it is sin confess, and run to Jesus begging for forgiveness from the Father. Also, confess it aloud to someone else that will hold me accountable. This includes, when appropriate, my children. 2) If it is not sin (like eating too much sugar in a day). Be kind to myself. Resolve to do better next time by praying about it. A lot.
I want to live this life of humble repentance. I don't want to live this life full of fear that I have a disappointed Father in heaven because I'm getting upset at myself about things that (which might be important on some level) they aren't the most important things.
A new dad, and friend from long ago, recently wrote on Instagram that his new baby girl would learn to love the Lord by his and his wife's godly example. And that is partly true. God certainly will use godly examples, especially those of parents, in the lives of our children. However, success isn't the only thing he wants or can choose to use. He wants to use it all. He can and will also use our failures in the lives of our children because when we fail we are in great need. That need is an opportunity to show our dependence on Christ alone...a chance to show them what it means to lean hard into the Savior of the world.
I had another friend, who's children are grown and have children of their own, tell me recently that on separate occasions his children contacted him and told him that the thing that impacted them the greatest in their lives was when he would openly confess to them his shortcomings, and sin (especially when directed their way) and ask for forgiveness in front of them or from them. I was surprised. And I wasn't at the very same time.
Even on our very best days we are needy.
At least I am.
Your kids need to know that.
Mine do too.
This song has been stuck in my head for days. It's mulling around in there and comforting me especially on days where things just plain stink and I've come up so short. God's amazing love isn't impressed with you on your best days and certainly isn't disappointed with you on your crummy ones. His love is constant and unchanging. It endures forever. It pierces our hearts through the Word so we desire to live a holy life. It is the most magnificent love one can ever, ever know.
Listen and read along, friends with the lyrics and let the truth wash over you.
Lean
Trying and tripping and torn
Reaching for more, but coming up less
Why are my memories of
You as the judge, me as the mess
I want the medal, don't want to settle
I want the victory lap, you in the stands
Why is it hard to believe
You just want me just as I am
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
When did we learn to perform
To need the encore, to know who we are
When did we forget our place
Is not on a stage, but safe in your arms
When will I let go, be still and just know
When will I see, when will I just believe
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
You ask me to trust
When You say I was enough
You made me lean
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
Reaching for more, but coming up less
Why are my memories of
You as the judge, me as the mess
I want the medal, don't want to settle
I want the victory lap, you in the stands
Why is it hard to believe
You just want me just as I am
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
When did we learn to perform
To need the encore, to know who we are
When did we forget our place
Is not on a stage, but safe in your arms
When will I let go, be still and just know
When will I see, when will I just believe
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
You ask me to trust
When You say I was enough
You made me lean
I could stand, I could fall
You want all of me
I could run, I could crawl
You will always be
You're not impressed with all of my best
Not disappointed when I don't land on my feet
In everything, you are asking me to lean
Writer(s): Nichole Nordeman, David Hodges
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com
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