A certain dear Christmas-loving, English teaching, Mexico living, sister-in-Christ friend, Melody tells me it's time for another post. And since I have some of the best, most wonderful family-friends in the world who took our children for the weekend I have some "extra" time to plunk around here.
And dear ones, you must know that that handsome man I call love is snoozing on the couch and so it is sort of a sacrifice to be typing here and not cuddled right up next to him. Nap or type? It was a hard call, but the computer won...just this once. You can thank me later...or not, depending on how much of your time you wasted, er, I mean spent reading in this place.
Ok, enough rambling.
The thoughts in my brain have been a bit scrambled lately. I find myself repeating myself a lot. And not just to people shorter than myself (AKA children.) Pregnancy brain, I could blame it on, I guess. So that is just what I will do!
But there has been this one constant flow of thoughts that (hold on to your pants friends) might just become a series here.
As I seek to be a faithful mother and wife, I find myself comparing and striving. A lot. And that might just be the understatement of the year. I also find myself spending an unfortunate amount of time caring way too much what other people think, instead of knowing that it is the Lord alone who I am held accountable.
It is in the beauty of our diversity of lives as believers that we can see the majesty and power of the Cross. I mean, not everyone is going to have more than two kids or foster children or home school or eat gluten free or not watch TV etc. etc. etc. are they? We each seek to "work out our own salvation with fear and trembling" don't we? So why am I comparing?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be that Pintrest woman that has a Christmas tree that deserves to be in the oval office of the White House. And if you saw our tree this year, you would know this to be the truest thing you have read all week.
But there is a part of me that wants that.
I know you can relate. (unless you are that Pintrest woman...to which I say God bless you!)
There is a part of me that is not satisfied with what the Lord has given or not given to me (one of which is 7 children right now who knock over Christmas trees. Yup, knock them right over.)
And some of this is because much of who we become or what our lives become stems from this idea that we will follow the paths laid out before us and that we will mirror much of what we were brought up in. But then we grow up don't we?
We move away.
We make decisions.
Much of which is painful but necessary. And so much of it all is unexpected. Our plans fail and we eventually, sometimes, see what the Lord is and was doing. And a lot of the time we don't or can't.
When I look at the beautiful mess of a life that we have lived together the past 11 years, it does not look anything like what I thought it would during the beginning. And you know what? I am ever so thankful that it doesn't!
Because my life does not need more Pintrest or comparing or lists of "shoulds." You know that list: "I really should be doing this because so-n-so raises her own sheep to knit her family woolen socks."
What my life needs...what my kids need...my husband...my friends and family....all of us. What we need is more of Jesus. Of Who He is. Of what He has done. And what He continues to do.
He is so much more beautiful than all of that comparing or worry over other's approval isn't He? And at the end of the day we want to seek to delight in Him and saturate our home and lives with the love of the gospel knowing we will fail and praising Him for the grace and mercy of forgiveness and the perseverance He gives to get through the next day....moment even.