All 10 Popes

Forgetful. That is what my middle name should be. If I had been born a Pilgrim and rode across the Atlantic on the Mayflower, I do believe that is what I would have been named. You know those Pilgrims were always naming their children things like that. Oh, yes I forget and have forgotten just about everything (thankfully none of the children...yet). I'm the girl that misses birthday wishes, forgets to call back, misplaces the keys, leaves her wallet random places, buys at least 2 brushes a year because all the other ones have been left at the places we have visited, writes down the appointment on the wrong day...wrong time...wrong everything. I have been told by one of my wisest friends, however, that this might be caused by sleep deprivation and that once the kids all start sleeping through the night you start to remember things again...but then they start driving.... Thankfully, the Lord has given me a husband who usually just laughs at me and helps me remember the thing...

Today is the day where you gather around a big table, with a big ol' turkey, with your big ol' (or maybe not so big) family or friend and give thanks. It's one day of the year and for some of us maybe it's been a month of "giving thanks." Thanks and giving: they are not mutually exclusive. They ebb and flow together and I believe that the Lord intended it to be so. And at this very moment I humbled and ever so thankful that my mother gave me life. Thankful, I'm so thankful that God gave me to her and she thankful herself, she gave me life! It's something that maybe I take for granted sometimes...or maybe all the time. My heart beats, I breathe in and out all the day long. But at one time...one moment in time I was just this idea (maybe not the greatest of ideas ;) ) in God's mind. There I was this idea and then at another moment in time there I was a life, a human life...a baby in the womb...growing and changing with every moment...a true mira...

There are these moments in time when I am almost transported back to who I was before Christ became my Lord and Savior. It could be a place that I am visiting, a person I haven't see or talked with in awhile, a dream or oddly enough sometimes I hear songs that remind me so strongly of that girl I used to be that if I was looking in the mirror I might just think I was still her. Silly isn't it? How something like music could do this to a girl?! Tonight, there I was standing in that pizza parlor waiting for my nephew's end of the year football banquet to get started, watching my two youngest covet the candy and toys in the 25 cent machines when I hear this song. Funny now, I can't even recall the lyrics or the song even, but the feeling: that I do  remember. You know that feeling when you go over the first big hill on a roller coaster ride? Yup, that's the one I was feeling. Ironically, I was trying to listen to my brother-in-law who was address...

This Monday, I must confess...I've got nothing. Just thanksgivings...this is always enough.... 347. cousin time, oh my sweet cousin 348. passionate conversations 349. 6 boys, adorable boys, playing together in cowboy hats 350. country music 351. my husband, my Love, my friend 352. strength, perseverance through the wariness 353. enjoying time with family 354. kids memorizing Bible verses 355. listening to a cousin's heart, her passion 356. freedom to worship 357. AWANA leaders 358. gentle reminders that meekness really is strength 359. discernment 360. Jesus: the bread of life

Psalm 100 A psalm. For giving grateful praise.   1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.   2 Worship the LORD with gladness;    come before him with joyful songs. 3 Know that the LORD is God.    It is he who made us, and we are his [ a ] ;    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.   4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving    and his courts with praise;    give thanks to him and praise his name. 5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;    his faithfulness continues through all generations. Increase your name oh, Lord and decrease ours. My our lives be a mere reflection of your grace, love, mercy and truth. Help us, dear God to be thankful for and in all things, not because of a holiday, but every single day and especially on the hardest of days. Give us hearts that submit and open hands to you, receiving with praise and thanksgiving t...

I often wonder if Christ longed to be understood. I wonder if he grew frustrated at the masses around him confusing their plans with his, calling him to an earthly kingdom when his home all along was in Heaven and  whose mission was an eternal one.  Did he ever grow weary of the constant barrage of people wanting his physical healing power only to dismiss the possibility that these miracles merely pointed to his Deity? Surly, in some way it had to be, on a human level, very hard to always be on the outside, to always be "that guy." I look at Jesus' life and see that even his family and his closest of friends didn't really understand what he was about until after he gave his life up on the cross. I see that his focus really was on his Heavenly Father where he drew his strength from, in each moment. And from this I am comforted. Though, the desire inside my heart to be understood is almost as great as my desire for easy, taking the road less tra...

We walk holding hands, I holding onto the stroller also, his hand in mine. Two more little boys lagging behind. The smell is almost overwhelming. How can it smell the very same way here in Dallas after the rain as it does in Lubbock? "It does, it really does," he replies. The smell of growing up, laughter and love. A smell that takes us back and propels us forward. "I guess it was so hot and there was no rain, there were those terrible fires," I say to him. "What on their front lawns?" he jokingly says. The reminder of the summer heat is around us. The brown-green, patchy grass groans for more water. Looking, it is a site to behold. House after house smattered with this spotty looking deadened grass. Dead grass, only alive after the rain. After the rain! The rain is necessary for life. When every ounce of this tired body aches for easy, I am reminded the rain is necessary for life and growth.  After weeks and of planning, packing, shuffling, org...

Change is often like the big, wet, freezing cold pool of water that you face on a hot summer day. The sun is beating down on you and you long to dive right on in. There is only one thing standing in your way: take-your-breath-away-cold water. Do you jump right in, allowing the coolness to chill you to the bone? Or do you dip your toes in, then your feet, and then your shins all a little at a time allowing yourself to get acclimated to the water? Whatever your preference, the water is always cold and the sun is what was warming you just before the water swallowed you whole. It's always hard. Change, I mean...it's always hard even if it's good change. But just like the brisk pool of water, eventually you do get aclimated to it...eventually.  And this, my friends is the hardest part about all of the changes that come with being in the military: saying good-bye. There is almost no water colder than this.  As I look around at my bare, white walls that just th...

It's the beginnings of the good byes.  I decided today that I am no good at them...really, not good. At. All.  I look behind and see it: grace. Grace is all I see. Grace in what we did, what we didn't do, what we saw, the decisions we made, the regrets we try not to hold close, and the friendships we hold closer. When you share in Christ with people, I mean really share in  Christ with them it is a gift worth far more than rubies and gold. Tomorrow I'll share in Christ while walking round a short track. We'll be walking in circles, but don't be deceived, I'll be growing, learning...sharing.  And there it is again: grace. Thank you Lord, for the unmeasured grace you have imparted to us by giving us friends who love you and are chasing hard after You. Indeed, you are good! 252. walking and chatting with a friend whilst being encouraged...always encouraged 253. our God, always protecting 254. our God, always in control 255. finding grace ...

Often, and I do mean often, I second guess myself. Maybe I should say at least fifty times a day I second guess the decisions I make or we make together, Justin and I. These can be small, big or somewhere in between. But if you think about it, much of life is made up of decisions. Maybe I'll keep a tally tomorrow....kidding, but that would be interesting wouldn't it?! All of this second guessing, hemming and hawing over things or chewing the cud probably stems from being "right" and "wrong." Those of you that know me well can attest to my black and white nature. I once jokingly and on accident  said to a friend, "there is black and then there is right." It really was an accident as the words spilled out of my mouth, but if I'm even halfway honest, I also thought it was kind of brilliant after I said it. There aren't a lot of shades of grey in my life, just ask my children....or the man that calls me Love. I like lists that I can check o...

Learning together. Dirty little feet...always makes me smile... Bed headed Gideon A family; a since of belonging together....

 When my children are grown and my hands are wrinkled and smattered with sun patches, what will matter? What is it that I'm leaving behind? Right now, even now, I'm leaving a mark on this vapor of a life that has been given to me.  It is easy to feel like to make a difference, to really have any sort of a legacy that you must be doing something. I often ask myself, "What am I doing?"  Here's the answer for today, 26 Aug, 2011: wake after an ENTIRE nights sleep (the first Gideon's slept through..yaaahhhooooo), corral these 4, eat...something (pretty sure it was Nutella and toast), scurry out the door for an appointment at the housing office (jealous aren't you?), come home and try not to freak out because our preinspection is next Friday (ick!), clean...and clean some more (all those places you clean only once a season), clean up a mess on the carpet which involved a diaperless baby...oops, clean the baby in the tub and then the tub, morning...

To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever. ~Psalm 30:12 241. challenging books 242. a little boy and his new boots 243. listening to Justin share the truth with little ears and hearts, not avoiding the depth; always ready to discuss the hard things 244. time with sweet friends 245. a gift: dishes washed...thanks Michelle 246. newly knitted snow hats; a labor of love 247. birthday cards with written with kind words 248. start of a new year of learning with our kids 249. seeing Jordynn's eyes light up when she put those lovely hats on her dolls 250. running errands with my love 251. Christ: sustainer 

"I don't WANT to be thankful!" This is my exact thought late this afternoon whilst scrubbing the dishes...so many dishes that they all won't be able to fit into the dishwasher. Overflowing the dishes are everywhere, from last night..perhaps even the night before? "Haven't I told them at least a hundred, no a thousand times to use the SAME cup?" There are at least ten cups on my counter, in my sink, every where around the house and I don't WANT to be thankful. I want to wallow in self pity. I want to feel sorry for myself, to think that I'll never get my act together, that this mess just will always be that: a mess! This is me. This is me throwing a tantrum. This is me throwing my first tantrum in year 29 of my life (it's only day 5 of this 29th year...it could be a long one). ;)  I cannot be discontent AND thankful at the very same time. I know this! Right then, I'm choosing discontent. Like a child I have dug my heels into the floor an...

In a world where African babies go hungry, leaders fail us, and everything else seems to be crumbling around us, is there even much to give thanks about? Sometimes it feels a bit trite, and even condescending to those who are in much harsher conditions, but perhaps giving thanks where we're at can give a glimpse of the fullness of God's blessing and remind us that there is MORE to be thankful for especially when life is hard because in the grand scheme of things what really is too hard for the Lord?! "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."  Psalm 107:1 193. children with full bellies 194.bowling with friends 195. walking with the kids 196. 3 days of supposed to be rain....then....little rain while camping; answered prayer 197. safe travels: to Garmisch 198. makeshift campfires 199. smores 200. hot tubs 201. dirty/stinky feet 202. marshmallow fights 203. loud laughter with friends 204. listening to oldies, bu...

At what point do we become people of fear? When do our shrieks of adventure turn to trepidatious caution? I've been mulling this over in my mind since our recent trip to Garmisch, Germany where we spent 3 nights camping with friends. When did I become so fearful? When does fear spill over into control and control over to discontent? Just as a disclaimer, I'm not speaking of "throwing caution to the wind" or not considering consequences of our choices. It's just that I look at my kids. I try to see things through their newer eyes; eyes that don't see through hurts, life scrapes and trials, only through what they know to be true. What is it that they know to be true that I tend to forget? I watch a girl run around in the dark woods with friends. No flashlight in hand, just a smile on her face and a giggle in her deep brown eyes. All I can think is, "Someone is going to get hurt, someone is going to trip over themselves and get REALLY hurt." No one ...

A home that houses 6 people, big, small and in between amasses a lot of dirt on the floor. The children are running wild outside, helping Dad in the yard, giggling silly with friends, and dragging it all in on their shoes at least a hundred times a day. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to have earthen floors during the summertime. Again, I sweep the floors this morning and think, "Didn't I just do this last night?" "Didn't I just steam mop because it sure doesn't look like it!" And here I am, again, for the thousandth time...at least...sweeping it clean. But what do dirty floors really mean? They mean sunshine and helping hands in the yard. They mean summertime fun with friends and making memories you will soon never forget. They mean sweaty boys who sometimes remember to wear their shoes and bike rides and scrapes, bruises, bumps and falls. They mean healthy kids who run wild, play and work with their family. I could sweep this floor becau...

Sometimes there are these moments in motherhood that I hope I never forget. They often happen with discussing the Lord or the things of him with the kids. Children really can grasp things that we don't think they can and many times I am baffled by their insight. Tonight was a bit like that, but not at all at the same time. Justin was reading and discussing with the children about the Trinity. Justin explains that God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit are ONE God, but each is a separate "person or entity." When he's finished he asks Hunter, "Son so how many gods are there?" Hunter smiles like he's got this one. He blurts out, "THREE, wait...no one (looking a bit confused) or oh Dad this doesn't make since!" Justin humbly replies, "You're right, it is hard to understand." So thankful is this heart of mine, that I don't understand EVERY aspect of the Lord...that there are things I don't fully grasp bec...

Do you ever feel it? The blush; that uneasy and ashamed feeling. Often, too often to admit, do I feel ashamed of my Lord Jesus and here is why: He is just SO opposite than the expectations placed on Him. Lets just start from the beginning, a mere few: Here he comes wrapped in swaddling cloths lying in a manger (where animals eat), born to a humble carpenter who has yet to "know" his wife. God in flesh, lying in a manger. Not what I would expect. (Luke 2:12) An untrained Rabi, by worldly standards, Jesus chooses mostly fishermen to be his disciples. He even throws in a tax collector for good measure. Not all of them, but most were uneducated. God choosing the simpleminded. Not what I would expect. (Luke 5) Jesus rides into Jerusalem for passover on a colt, not even an adult donkey. He doesn't demand to be carried around like the true emperor he is. Always humble, never demanding worship or respect. Not what I would expect. (Matt. 21:7) During Jesus' last supp...

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17 146. rocking our Mighty Warrior to sleep...again, and again 147. time, time to watch our 4 grow; the together time 148. perfectly piled pancakes 149. early bedtime 150. wise friends 151. our small group family 152. littlest Love and biggest Love snuggled up close...time for sleep 153. a daddy's agape love for his children 154. a teachable spirit among friends 155. meeting together to discover, anew, just what it means to believe what the Word says 156. little working hands 157. learning something new 158. encouraging words 159. a small notebook to journal everything and nothing at all 160. remembering Who is in control, thankfully it's not me! 161. FOUND...the car keys that is 162. that God never changes, He is not like the weather, we can trust in HIM        

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again; Rejoice!" Phil. 4.4 123. rain, sprinkling rain; pounding rain; always refreshing rain 124. trying a new recipe 125. freedom to homeschool 126. meeting another kind soul 127. an oppurtunity to show grace 128. that carpet of green growing all around our yard 129. new challenges 130. health insurance especially at 2 AM 131. antibiotics 132. You, Lord are always faithful...giving me the rest I need 133. praying for a dear, far...far away friend 134. a know-so kind of hope...the one I cling to 135. looking back, only to be thankful ever more for this "heart of flesh" given to me 136. choosing what is true, right and good 137. the grace not to give into feelings...choosing what is hard 138. learning perserverence, patience, and when to hold my tongue 139. listening to hymns played on the piano 140. sprinklers 141. a nice, long run 142. wisdom from the wise 143. learning from the Old Testiment...SO muc...

"That's what you expect Kari? Perfection?" The words, the question my sister asks still ring in my ears, and I hear myself answer...yes. What a tall order! Perfection. It's almost laughable...embarssing to admit. Sometimes the truth is a bit embarassing. It's not people I expect to be perfect. No, I know people dissapoint, people hurt, people sin. But maybe, it's the perception of perfection that I desire. Maybe it's what I want people to percieve us as. This I do know in my head, that we (All 6 Popes), are but a beautiful mess but my heart sometimes screams for perfection. The mess is ok, until it is "seen" by others... until it reaches out and touches their lives. Oh, how easily I forget that I am perfect only in Christ. It is what He has done on the cross for me that makes me perfect. Perfection is not found in anything or any one else; only in the ONE who is the great I AM. I sit at the right hand of the father, not because of anything in...