All 10 Popes

Often when I peek through my camera lens I am looking, searching for the beauty. Often times, it seems that for that kind of beauty, I have to look beyond what is right in front of my eyes...beyond what I am tempted to focus on. And sometimes that beauty is just a glimpse.   And right in front of my eyes. All at the same time.    And sometimes it's walking right in front of me: water bottle in hand, camera slung over her shoulder. Chatting with my girl. And if you don't get catch it, right then...you miss it. This beauty, she came and washed dishes, hugged grand kids, did 35 loads of laundry (at least), brought me coffee in the mornings, told my kids they are special, loved the ones that are called fostered like they were her own, let me borrow her husband for a couple of projects around the house, laughed hard and long, told me what I needed to hear and said, "you are doing well" as I wept before she left. For this beauty and for these I...

I was watching this video on YouTube today as I was sampling one of Amanda Bennett's Download-N-Go Unit Studies. My kids love them. I love them. And I love that here is actually one thing in this world at we all love (ok maybe there is more like 3 things but that may be pushing it a little) b/c they are actually learning something that they love. So we are all feelin' the love so much  that we might pick out a couple in our spring-like summer up here in the UP to do together. And as I sat down to plunk away, still I was thinking about this video and how much like this wispy life feels like it is flying by....flying by just like what you see here (cept in the UP, well it would be confusing b/c half the video would be covered in wintry snow) And it is isn't it? That our lives are but a vaper and I am constantly trying to grab hold of something that I can't take hold of. Time keeps going and I keep grasping. I always thoug...

Today was that day. You know the one. The one where if there was a grading scale for parenting you would give yourself an F in mothering (or life in general.) And for those of you that are hollering at your computer, "Oh, Kari you're always too hard on yourself!" well, today that is just not true. Today, it just is the plain, ugly truth. And these days? We all have them don't we? There were many a time where I thought, "you know they are not going to be here forever...." and then just went on being an F parent. And here is the thing that I have found to be most true when this happens. My focus is myself. My focus is my circumstances. My focus is on what others are doing or not doing. My focus is on what others may think of me. My focus certainly is not Christ. And the brutal, honest truth is that today...this very day... I didn't want it to be. There must be a reason that many times, I find in the Word, (as I told my daughter today...again) that fa...

Describing motherhood is a bit like catching a slippery fish don't you think? I mean it's hard to get a hold of and certainly hard to describe in words that are adequate. It is a job that I always thought that I was fit for...that is until #1 made her grand entrance and well then it was soon after I realised that changing diapers and holding crying babies at my mom's daycare all those years didn't add up to wisdom. Preparation? Yes. Wisdom? Nope. And so as we celebrated our fourth turning three at the circus and all that entails, I realise that it is in the letting go of expectations (you know those silly ones we keep hidden in our hearts) that has helped this unprepared girl along the way. Babies cry. They don't sleep. Toddlers whine because they don't get the $15 light up toy. Big ones moan because they have to wait and well, "we NEVER get cotton candy!!"  And there was a day when I couldn't really enjoy being with them because they were no...

Sitting here, sunshine glowing through the curtain, Wreck It Ralph playing in the background and trying not to freak out about all that needs to get done before move day. So things will be quiet a bit around here for awhile...maybe a few weeks even...but that's good....breaks are good. I do hope your celebration of our risen Lord was lovely. And as spring blows in soft breaths of fresh air (or the hope of spring if you're a Yooper!), dear friends, may the Light of the World shine hard-bright into your hearts, showing you His truth.       And of course this list that keeps. on. growing.:   852. a church family willing to always, always help 853. seeing God at work...and the face of people who are just blown. away. 854. celebrating a RISEN Savior 855. a pastor and his wife fixing, serving his flock breakfast 856. empty walls...full boxes 857. kind friends 858. excited for spring...having a hard time waiting....   One last t...

There are these faint voices that echo with in the direction of my past. They whisper and taunt me to remember who I was. They pop up in dreams and implore me to reconsider who I really am now in light of who I was then. Oh, not to worry, these are not real voices, no I don't need to be locked away somewhere in a padded room. What I hear are merely the soft voices of faded memories I wish I did not have. As I lie awake this morning not despairing, rather clinging to who I am now...right now in Christ...my mind tumbles around this idea of love and what kind of Love I'm putting my trust in.  What kind of love is true? Is this love any different than what I used to think it was when I was younger and had all the answers? "I think people really find out what love is after they get married," I tell my Love a few weeks ago, near Valentine's day . He smiles and agrees and tells me that he does love me...now, right now. So many times people think they fall ...

We named you Koen and prayed and hoped that you would grow into your name: honorable counsellor. Then you came into this world all screams and me all laughter kissing your Father thinking, "I can't believe I just did that!!!" Accidentally natural. Yes, it happens.  And I thought soon after, that perhaps, we messed the whole thing up. Maybe the naysayers were right. Maybe we had the "perfect" family...one boy, one girl. Maybe three was too much for me. Maybe there was not enough love in this momma's heart. Maybe we were just too far from home.  You cried and I think I cried more... if that is even possible. And we lived through that whole messy year crying bold, round, drippy tears together in Germany. No family around. No true friends that very first year. Just the 5 of us: one. big. mess. Together. Oh, and can I just say, son? That for every tear I cried, I have laughed out loud twice as hard. I smile just thinking of...

I'm doing it again. That thing. When I say I'm going to do something. And then I don't. I think it's called being... unfaithful.   And well, that is something that I just don't want to be.   And so, here I am. Again. Desiring to be faithful to memorise God's Word.   Because really, on every basic level I. Need. To. Just do it.   Just take the time. And do it.   It takes time. But so does checking my email. And blogging. And playing Words With Friends. And watching Downton Abby. And scrolling through Facebook. And... And... And...   And none of these are bad things, really. But if they are substituting for what is really necessary. For what is needed. And not just wanted. I will starve spiritually speaking.   And how can I know the the promises I'm rooted in. The will of my Father. The law of Love . And of Liberty. How can I know truly, who He is...

The AWANA Grand Prix is a big night for the Pope family. Usually the cars are bought weeks in advance, and much like the rest of my life, get put into a box, a drawer, somewhere out of sight and then....well, you understand don't you? If you look my name up in the dictionary, right after limited time management skills would be procrastinator in disguise (because I like to pretend that I am over that and have it all together.) And so, a few days before the race, my Love, he gets together with the 3 bigs, sandpaper in hand and they scrub and scrub. He helps, encourages. The cars are smoothed, primed and painted all by them. Oh, we help when it is necessary. We guide, but they do. And you know what I want for my kids? I want them to be doers and much of this parenting gig is about appearances and the parents, really. It's not really about he kids learning and spending time with their family...it's about winning.  It's not that I don't want to be helpful. It's not...

Not long ago I knew this girl . When asked at a youth group leader meeting to write down what is most important to her she wrote one word: Truth. Not sure what all of that entailed, she then endeavoured to live her life chasing hard after that Truth. Failing, falling, bumping, bruising along sometimes this chase looked more like a scared run or a hide and seek game of the ashamed. This girl, she knew that Truth must be her anchor, but didn't really know what that looked like. She wanted to stand for it, but how to do this was always a challenge that seemed to be the better.  It seemed as if the world had invaded the church...that those wanting to stand for Truth, including this girl looked a whole lot like those who said that you couldn't know it and to claim to was arrogant and self righteous. Wrapping herself tight in her own wisdom was folly. Comparisons always lead to discontent and this girl? She spent almost four years in Germany, just that...dis...

  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." "Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Elizabeth Elliot said she willed herself to, "Just do the next thing" almost daily after her missionary husband was speared to death in the jungles of Ecuador. And as I look into the Word of Truth, starting from the very beginning of it all...reading through, to the right end of it all, I realise that these oft-used quotes speak to the heart of how I feel about working through the Old Testament one big book at a time. "Just read the next book," is often what I tell myself when reading is long and laborious and the list of names or tribes or laws seems to never end. There are many, many parts of this God of the Old Testament, this very same God of the New, that I did not know. Parts I would like to close my American eyes to and pretend don't exist because I don't understand. And I don't understand for many...

      Dearest Son, I look at the world, and I look at you. You, this beautiful boy. Out you came, this wrinkled little bit, into this world, broken, full of pain with a body struggling to breathe. You grasping for the very thing that could give you life. And this world, it seems to suck it out of us right quick sometimes doesn't it? I look, and I see and I think what is it that I want you to know because you are now 8 which is another 2 years away from 10 and that, halfway to 20 and son, it goes by fast. And what's a mom to do with all that she wants you to know when you are growing up fast-strong in boy years and I am panting far behind in momma years. What do I want you to know? What is a mom to do when she knows right then, right when you step out in to this wide open world of ours that every. single. thing. you have ever been taught will be backwards to this upside down world of ours. That...

There is much the Lord is teaching 'round these here parts. So much so that I have not been able to articulate them even in my mind in such a way that makes sinse on paper...in a way that I think is thoughtful. Usually, that is where the writing begins...with some prayer and meditation. Reading through the Bible has stirred much inside me, but it's hard to know where to begin....so I'm not going to...not yet anyway. So instead, I'll post this pretty picture of Paris. Yeah, sometimes it's pretty unreal that Justin and I were there together! And until next time...  my heart is filled with joy and peace knowing that Lord, You are in control. I rest in knowing that I may plan, and plan but you, Mighty God are the One who guides my steps. May my walk with you deepen as I grow in knowledge and the truth of your word and who this Jesus really is. You mercy is new every morning and you give grace that fills me overflowing. Humble I come in awe o...

Maybe, just maybe the hardest part about giving is not so much in the giving. It's not buying or making this thing we call a gift. It's not the money or time spent. Though a sacrifice, I usually believe it's somehow worth it. I mean, really I love to give and I think that is true of most people. Here's the hang up though (at least for me anyway): I especially like to give to those who I think deserve it AND I (if I'm being really honest with you) want something in return....even if it's just a nice thank you e-mail. Micheal Flaherty, president of Walden Media , while speaking to Marvin Olasky of World Magazine about some of the scarier scenes in the film, The Dawn Treader , explains it this way . Flaherty tells Olasky, "So we’re talking with the screenwriter and director and someone says, “Before Eustace gets un-dragoned, let’s have him fight another dragon, and as a reward for him fighting that other dragon and beating him, Aslan wil...

Many times as a little girl a magazine from the American Girl Doll Company would come in the mail. I remember it usually being around Christmas, but it could have been any time during the year. Oh, this magizine, it was wonderful! And I don't remember wanting a whole lot as a little girl, but yes, oh yes! I wanted an American Girl Doll. Samantha, to be exact. I would spend many a minute with that coveted magazine, circling little items, imagining, wondering what it would be like to have her...just her. The bed, the clothes, all the accessories, those were, I knew, just pie in the sky dreams, but the doll....that was possible....though she was ever so expensive, it was possible. Christmas' came and they went. I did get the doll that had the hair that would grow when you touched her hand to a plastic butterfly in her hair. Santa even left me a note that said I would have to wait for the rest of the accessories. One day poof! everything was there on my bed...

As I hold and rock our two year old for a must-have-or-I'll-fall-asleep-at-five-and-not-go-to-bed-'til-11 nap, we listen to quiet Christmas music. As I hold and rock this littlest one of mine, I think about Mary, rocking her God-in-flesh baby. It is sweet. And again I am made humble as I think about this Word becoming flesh...baby flesh. You see, almost every time I want to rise up, to gain something in and of myself, to want a high accolade, it is then I am reminded things like this: that the God of the universe, He who made all things, came as a baby first. No, not as a King. No, not as a ruler, but as a babe in a manger whose every need had to be met first by his own mother. And so in this life of bending low to be lifted up, I find myself battling against always wanting a pat on the back, recognition for things done well....given well. Just this morning here I am standing in the kitchen crying out for grace to love a friend when I really want, and think I deserve,...

Hebrews 11 is known as the "Hall of Faith" for every Christian. In it we see clearly that faith is how a person is saved. Every believer mentioned in Hebrews 11 is from the Old Testament which means that Jesus was not born on earth yet. What we also see clearly, is also what the Lord has been teaching me these last couple of weeks: "These (Abraham and Sarah) all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them,embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.  For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.  And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return.  But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." (Hebrews 11:13-16)   Recently Jordynn said absentmindedly, and more to...