All 10 Popes

This is how my day ended.  It was 11 and she waited up for me to come home from a meeting.  Of course she did. I used to be, sadly, frustrated by this sort of thing. And sadly, sometimes I still am. Because days around here can be very long. And yesterday was one of those long days.... but in a good way. It was Gotcha day.  Very probably my favorite day of the year. Even more so than Christmas. And if you know me that's saying something big This girl. She has my heart all twisted sometimes. She's so beautiful. And kind. Which matters most, I think. And she totally rocks the Chucks. Rocks them.  Pretty boy. It's a good thing too. Thats all all I'll say about that. No really, it's a love worth fighting for. A love given to me from the Lord. Never easy. As with some, it will never be. I mean really? Can a little person be any cuter? Or more terrific? She did just throw a M...

Him: What did I call Ms. Cari when I lived with them? Me: Mom Him: What did I call the Strucks when I lived with them? Me: Mom and Dad Him: And, of course, I called Audrey mom when I lived with her. Me: of course. Him: WEIRD. That is SO weird, Mom!!! Me: Not really, because they were acting like moms to you and you called them as much. Him: But it would be so weird to call someone else mom now.  You're my mom. Me: *smiles, teary eyed* These are the moments that I want to cling to as an adoptive mother. So many moments around here are hard and feel a bit lonely. If you knew how hard it is for a foster child who has had lived through multiple placements before being adopted, to look at me and really call me mother (as in NO ONE else is my mother), you would agree that this is no small miracle of the heart.  If you knew how hard is is for a mother to look at a son, not born of her womb, and to truly call him her son, you would nod and amen that this...

"I think I may be crazy. You have four kids, Kari. Your life is hectic and crazy, so you are the person I thought to call," said a dear friend on the phone. I know her heart. It was a compliment. Not offended in the least, and a bit dumbfounded she would think to call lil' ol' me I said, "What's up?!" "The agency wants to place 3 kids with us. They are all under 5 years old. And I'm, well, not getting any younger." Her voice is sure, excited, and questioning. "What do you think?" she asks. "Why not?" is what I think I said, but I can't be positive. Why not?  I ask, as sure, excited and questioning though extremely ignorant and not really knowing it. We usually don't know when we are do we? Ignorant, I mean. That was almost two years ago.  We hang up.  I'm pretty sure she should have called someone else.  Someone older.  Wiser.  Not me. The night the kids show up at her house, I arrive too...

We walk to school back in June to grab the kids from school. She walking next to me, lanky, not even a foot shorter any more. Thick hair down her back and I see it then: who she is becoming. I see who the Lord is molding her into and what a hard, wild ride the last year has been. Really, how many years have been for us. A struggle. And how I praise the Lord for what He has done in her. I asked her if she remembered the day that she told me that she was going to run away and I asked if I could help her pack her bags. I asked her to look back and remember who she was and what a year with Jesus can do for the soul. She smiles big. There is sadness there for what used to be in us both as well as a love that was worth growing in both of our hearts that we would never want to be taken away. A mother's heart will always be for what is hers, for what came from her, for what has been given and I feared and worried that we were some how stealing something from our biological children b...

"You know you don't have to do this. You are not obligated. God has given you five children of your own to raise." These are the words that many loved ones spoke when we quietly announced that we would be adding the three children we have been fostering the past year, to our forever family. The words may sound harsh, but really they are true. And we knew it. That is exactly what made the decision hard. But really, this adoption story does not start here. This adoption story, like all adoption stories is a part of all of our stories who call ourselves children of God. It is our story. It is His story. Christ did not have to come to earth. He did not have to love us. He did not need our relationship or help or love. He just didn't have to. When Adam and Eve sinned, forever seperating us from God, the Father, He could very well just have started over somewhere else. But he didn't. He chose to come. He lived a sinless life. He chose to die a bloody death. For ...