To listen to me read this post (rather unprofessionally) click here. Otherwise, all you traditional readers...read on!
Well, Hello 2019. We are already 26 days in. You certainly snuck up on me per usual. The days have gone by slowly but 2018 sure did pass by in a flash. This probably has to do with the half a year we spent preparing for and then moving. Again. This is our 5th military move but we have, in every duty location, moved into another house after the first year. That would make it 9 moves altogether with 2, then 4, then 8 kids. It is an exhausting, exhilarating life. A life that I love. Also, a life that passes by quickly as the years increase.
New Years Day had not really registered in my brain until I went to the YMCA two days after the actual new year. I don't know why. Well, time is so weird isn't it? Mothering, schooling, wifing, doing all the things leaves me feeling, many times, in a time fog. How about you? I can hardly remember what the actual day is much less the date. You Type A people out there...I drive you crazy. It's hard being friends with me. I'm sorry. I forget things. A lot.
So there I am at the Y, standing on the precipice of the workout room a couple days after the ball dropped, slightly throwing up in my mouth because I could not for the life of me find an empty treadmill. And yes, there is a maximum amount of treadmills. No shortage of them. Just a major increase from the 5 people max I see there on a regular basis at 4 in the afternoon. Despair tried to rear its ugly head as I scanned the room because almost every other machine was being used as well. Every. Other. Machine.
If I wasn't so distraught it might have been a bit comical. All those nongymish people using machines...trying to figure out what body part goes where. I pushed aside the desire growing inside me to run away, grab my kids and not come back for 3 more weeks (I might be somewhat of an introvert. And drama queen.) I climbed, instead, on this horrific machine that does a great job, not of working out out ones body but rather at helping you to feel like you a going to fall off of it and break rather important body part. Which, at 36 now, might not be so easily recovered.
That trip to the Y was a slap in the face kind of wake up call, "HEY, Kari Jo...it's another year!" Interestingly enough, it doesn't feel much different than the last few days of my life. Hey, maybe that's why it didn't register... It also didn't feel much different than the entire last year of my life.
Because it isn't.
And just maybe the reason I won't see most of those people at the Y in 3 weeks is because of just that. In many cases, there isn't actual transformation happening. Well, not in the way that we want it to happen anyway. Most of us want overnight transformation. I'm including myself here. Whether it's our kids, our marriage, our spiritual life, our answers to questions that are haunting us, our weight loss, our desire to rearrange the pantry, or any other plethora of changes we would like to make, we want transformation quick. To be fair, some change does come quickly but far too often we think faster is better right? Well, maybe if life were a sprint. I like sprinting. But it's not. Life is a marathon. One very, very long marathon.
There is a reason I have never ran a marathon and it's probably the same reason you haven't ran one: I don't want to. And I don't want to because it is hard. And long. Really, really long. It's like running to your grave and then celebrating it joyfully. I go run 4 miles and feel like it will never end. Ever. Then I get home and I'm happy I ran, but I don't really want to run farther. Or maybe ever again. But I do because I know it's transforming me (or at least keeping some of the calories I enjoy eating from transforming my bum).
It is much easier to conform isn't it. To just let life pass by and act a bit like a spectator, taking in all the good bits (and not so good) bits of it. Conforming to something is a pretty passive affair. It doesn't take a lot of trying or thinking. It is easy. You see, conforming is a type of transformation that happens to us. We let it happen to us. We make the easy choice of not going to the gym and eating that super family sized bag of Doritos when we've had a bad day instead of going on a long walk and eating a stick of celery. We make that choice often enough, taking the easy way out and our physical bodies are weak and out of shape. It's the same in our spiritual life.
Ok who am I kidding? Who actually eats celery outside of soup? Not me. It's like putting grass in your mouth and chewing on it. What a weird food. I would choose an apple but that's just me. But I digress... again...
Make no mistake. We are either being transformed by passively conforming or actively transforming into something else. God's word tells his children to "not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your minds." And the pattern of our lives will either be conformed by passively taking in our lives not discerning what is good, or better or even best instead of being transformed by His very words of life. The Spirit will work through his Word to transform my heart and I will have to make the hard choices. It is a both/and reality here. It is active on His part and on my part. I will have to make it a priority to consistently read the Bible for myself even when I would rather bing watch Gilmore Girls or Poldark (I'm watching Luke and Lorelai break up again. Insert tear emoji here) because the day was long and hard.
Recently, a friend said she was encouraged at her ladies Bible study to, "Love the Lord by reading his Word." And further, "Let the Lord love you by reading his Word." Never in my life had I thought about the Bible this way. As a young believer I was told on many occasions that I should read the Bible. It's what Christians do. These are both true statements. I'm not sure just how helpful they are though, especially to a new Christian. And still, so often I "should" on myself, thinking that I "should" be reading the Bible but then I don't. Guilt then ensues, of course. So, so often I don't desire to read it. It becomes about a checklist...something I "should" do and not a loving relationship. However, if I think about what a gift of love His words are to me and that I can love him through reading his Words, and communing with him, then I know I always desire to do that. Always. No, I may not always "feel" like reading my Bible, but I will say I do love the Lord. I can't not love him. I always want to love him which means I always want to read his word despite how my feelings feel.
Only in 2019 can you say things like: how my feelings feel and it be correct grammar.
Think about it this way: the Lord is communing with you as you read the Words he gifted you. What is more precious than that?
There are so many times, sadly, I shoo my children away when they want to tell me something. This is especially true of TV shows they have watched. I just don't want to listen about the newest episode of Bunk'd. Sometimes I slap on a happy momma face smile and fake it but so many other times I instinctively try to find something for them to do and protect my ears from hearing all about Emma's newest crush. How sad is that!
Listen, God NEVER treats us this way. When we approach the throne of grace, he is there to listen and commune with us through his Word. The Creator-God of the universe is there. It's simply amazing. And I cannot do this alone. I am never alone in this which is good, good news because I cannot run this marathon alone. I need the grace of the path directing me. I need someone to show me where to go. I need mercy in the directions, but also the mercy even to move along the path at a snails pace. And as He guides me through the long, arduous, wispy journey ahead I will have to take the hard steps forward, knowing that sometimes I will take the wrong path or want to give up or get distracted by unimportant things that seem really important etc., but also knowing transformation is taking place. And, friends, isn't that exactly where we want to be?
Part of ann older hymn puts it this way:
Well, Hello 2019. We are already 26 days in. You certainly snuck up on me per usual. The days have gone by slowly but 2018 sure did pass by in a flash. This probably has to do with the half a year we spent preparing for and then moving. Again. This is our 5th military move but we have, in every duty location, moved into another house after the first year. That would make it 9 moves altogether with 2, then 4, then 8 kids. It is an exhausting, exhilarating life. A life that I love. Also, a life that passes by quickly as the years increase.
New Years Day had not really registered in my brain until I went to the YMCA two days after the actual new year. I don't know why. Well, time is so weird isn't it? Mothering, schooling, wifing, doing all the things leaves me feeling, many times, in a time fog. How about you? I can hardly remember what the actual day is much less the date. You Type A people out there...I drive you crazy. It's hard being friends with me. I'm sorry. I forget things. A lot.
So there I am at the Y, standing on the precipice of the workout room a couple days after the ball dropped, slightly throwing up in my mouth because I could not for the life of me find an empty treadmill. And yes, there is a maximum amount of treadmills. No shortage of them. Just a major increase from the 5 people max I see there on a regular basis at 4 in the afternoon. Despair tried to rear its ugly head as I scanned the room because almost every other machine was being used as well. Every. Other. Machine.
If I wasn't so distraught it might have been a bit comical. All those nongymish people using machines...trying to figure out what body part goes where. I pushed aside the desire growing inside me to run away, grab my kids and not come back for 3 more weeks (I might be somewhat of an introvert. And drama queen.) I climbed, instead, on this horrific machine that does a great job, not of working out out ones body but rather at helping you to feel like you a going to fall off of it and break rather important body part. Which, at 36 now, might not be so easily recovered.
That trip to the Y was a slap in the face kind of wake up call, "HEY, Kari Jo...it's another year!" Interestingly enough, it doesn't feel much different than the last few days of my life. Hey, maybe that's why it didn't register... It also didn't feel much different than the entire last year of my life.
Because it isn't.
And just maybe the reason I won't see most of those people at the Y in 3 weeks is because of just that. In many cases, there isn't actual transformation happening. Well, not in the way that we want it to happen anyway. Most of us want overnight transformation. I'm including myself here. Whether it's our kids, our marriage, our spiritual life, our answers to questions that are haunting us, our weight loss, our desire to rearrange the pantry, or any other plethora of changes we would like to make, we want transformation quick. To be fair, some change does come quickly but far too often we think faster is better right? Well, maybe if life were a sprint. I like sprinting. But it's not. Life is a marathon. One very, very long marathon.
There is a reason I have never ran a marathon and it's probably the same reason you haven't ran one: I don't want to. And I don't want to because it is hard. And long. Really, really long. It's like running to your grave and then celebrating it joyfully. I go run 4 miles and feel like it will never end. Ever. Then I get home and I'm happy I ran, but I don't really want to run farther. Or maybe ever again. But I do because I know it's transforming me (or at least keeping some of the calories I enjoy eating from transforming my bum).
It is much easier to conform isn't it. To just let life pass by and act a bit like a spectator, taking in all the good bits (and not so good) bits of it. Conforming to something is a pretty passive affair. It doesn't take a lot of trying or thinking. It is easy. You see, conforming is a type of transformation that happens to us. We let it happen to us. We make the easy choice of not going to the gym and eating that super family sized bag of Doritos when we've had a bad day instead of going on a long walk and eating a stick of celery. We make that choice often enough, taking the easy way out and our physical bodies are weak and out of shape. It's the same in our spiritual life.
Ok who am I kidding? Who actually eats celery outside of soup? Not me. It's like putting grass in your mouth and chewing on it. What a weird food. I would choose an apple but that's just me. But I digress... again...
Make no mistake. We are either being transformed by passively conforming or actively transforming into something else. God's word tells his children to "not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of your minds." And the pattern of our lives will either be conformed by passively taking in our lives not discerning what is good, or better or even best instead of being transformed by His very words of life. The Spirit will work through his Word to transform my heart and I will have to make the hard choices. It is a both/and reality here. It is active on His part and on my part. I will have to make it a priority to consistently read the Bible for myself even when I would rather bing watch Gilmore Girls or Poldark (I'm watching Luke and Lorelai break up again. Insert tear emoji here) because the day was long and hard.
Recently, a friend said she was encouraged at her ladies Bible study to, "Love the Lord by reading his Word." And further, "Let the Lord love you by reading his Word." Never in my life had I thought about the Bible this way. As a young believer I was told on many occasions that I should read the Bible. It's what Christians do. These are both true statements. I'm not sure just how helpful they are though, especially to a new Christian. And still, so often I "should" on myself, thinking that I "should" be reading the Bible but then I don't. Guilt then ensues, of course. So, so often I don't desire to read it. It becomes about a checklist...something I "should" do and not a loving relationship. However, if I think about what a gift of love His words are to me and that I can love him through reading his Words, and communing with him, then I know I always desire to do that. Always. No, I may not always "feel" like reading my Bible, but I will say I do love the Lord. I can't not love him. I always want to love him which means I always want to read his word despite how my feelings feel.
Only in 2019 can you say things like: how my feelings feel and it be correct grammar.
Think about it this way: the Lord is communing with you as you read the Words he gifted you. What is more precious than that?
There are so many times, sadly, I shoo my children away when they want to tell me something. This is especially true of TV shows they have watched. I just don't want to listen about the newest episode of Bunk'd. Sometimes I slap on a happy momma face smile and fake it but so many other times I instinctively try to find something for them to do and protect my ears from hearing all about Emma's newest crush. How sad is that!
Listen, God NEVER treats us this way. When we approach the throne of grace, he is there to listen and commune with us through his Word. The Creator-God of the universe is there. It's simply amazing. And I cannot do this alone. I am never alone in this which is good, good news because I cannot run this marathon alone. I need the grace of the path directing me. I need someone to show me where to go. I need mercy in the directions, but also the mercy even to move along the path at a snails pace. And as He guides me through the long, arduous, wispy journey ahead I will have to take the hard steps forward, knowing that sometimes I will take the wrong path or want to give up or get distracted by unimportant things that seem really important etc., but also knowing transformation is taking place. And, friends, isn't that exactly where we want to be?
Part of ann older hymn puts it this way:
"I will hasten to him
Hasten so glad and free
Jesus greatest highest
I will come to thee
I am resolved
To go to the Savior
Leaving my sin and strife
He is the true one
He is the just one
He hast the words of life..."
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